What You “Know” Can Get in Your Way!
There are those that say “the older you get, the harder it is / the longer it takes to learn.” Then there are those that say “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” Scientists have done studies on how children learn at an accelerated rate compared to adults, etc. Yada, yada, yada… I believe this has become largely “excuses” for most people to not learn or to only go half way with learning something new.
I have discovered with my own learning that I personally accelerate when I don’t let what I think I already “know” get in the way of the new information I’m trying to take in. For instance – I have been a trumpet player since the 3rd grade and have been both a “talented” little boy and a “not so lucky” player. In high school, the message of “wanting to be a professional player was a reckless career choice and would carry with it disastrous results in life,” was constantly fed to me by “authority” figures… “You’ll never have a home, never have a family, etc.” So I essentially stopped learning because after all – what’s the point?
After returning to the horn 3 years after quitting, I was extremely self-conscious of my inabilities on the instrument… because deep down inside I still carried my dream, but had that message being played from within – you’re not lucky enough to have what it takes, etc. Comparing myself to other players, not wanting to appear weak, etc. would ultimately cause me to live by the mantra of “I know that!”
My growth as a player was essentially stifled because of fear – I didn’t want others to see my weaknesses and I worried too much about their opinions of me and my abilities / inabilities. This went on for literally YEARS! Until my wife was able to “break” through and help me see that all of this inability was created by the core issue of fear. It was not an easy process, but once the root of the problem was discovered, I started working on it. Once I did, my learning started to grow because I no longer felt captive to the idea of others opinions, etc.
So let’s jump back for a minute… children (largely babies) learn very quickly – there is no question about that. But let’s also remember that not too many people are telling babies “you can’t do that” when it comes to walking, talking, learning languages, and other skills and setting them up with insecurities about their learning. But as school age children through adulthood we run into those that are insecure enough that they must put others down about making mistakes or admitting to not knowing something… causing us to put up our defenses and stifle our own growth.
Ultimately, when we build defenses and build walls to keep out that which creates fear and pain, we also wall off our ability to grow… learning after all is growth!
Keith Fiala
http://www.TrumpetResources.com
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4 Responses to “What You “Know” Can Get in Your Way!”
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You have hit the nail on the head squarely with these comments. There’s nothing which bothers me more than “you can’t do that” or “you might want to rethink that choice” with regards to music. I hold myself and my wife up as examples of what can be accomplished with music even in an area which is horrible in its support for live music. I’m here because after college I went to instrument repair school and moved here to work in a music store, and my wife moved to the area specifically to study violin with a particular person in Boston. We met, fell in love, and after 26 years of marriage, with 25 of them totally self-employed, we are putting 2 kids through college, we have very active teaching studios, we perform professionally when hired, and I have a very busy instrument repair business as well. That’s all because nobody told us we couldn’t do it. And I point that out to my students who express a desire to pursue music in college as a career path — don’t listen to the naysayers. They’re just jealous because they didn’t follow their dreams (many of them) and they’ve lived less than thrilling lives because of it.
Life is what we make of it and we get one go-round in this great life we’re living, so make the best of it and don’t let anybody else rain on your parade! And remember that nothing is ever truly etched in stone — it’s never too late to follow one’s dreams.
Hey Kieth,
Thanks for addressing this issue. The reasons that you address here are exaclty the reason that I have not told anyone else but my wife and one ohter close friend about my dream/plan to become a working jazz trumpet player in the 5 to 1o years. I haven’t told anyone in my family or other close friends that for the last 5 years, (since my 48th birthday) that I have been learningand practicing every day for aieast two hours. I haven’t even told my mother, who use to tell me as a kid that “I can be or can do anything I want to be or do”. The reasson is I know out of pride she would tell somene that I don’t them to know and then would have to deal with their negative thoughts and comments.So I persever on in secret and fearlessly.
Thabks for your help.
Stephen
I did a restart on trumpet after 7 years away. Trumpetmaster forum said it would be 18 months to just get back to where I was. I listened to Keith, and believed that -”I too” could play at the level I want. I am at the 18 month level. My playing is better than ever, and octave higher, and consistent to “hit” notes that I never could. to play things an octave higher — that I never could before. The first year back was super frustrating — dealing with MY own walls of where I was 7 years ago. Once I passed those areas, and with consistent PRACTICE — seem to be improving each week. Playing things that “were supposedly impossible just 7 yrs ago” — I am 45 yrs old — it is never too late.
ken
I want to thank you publicly for your influence on my life and playing. I had some nerve damage that I wasn’t sure I could overcome. The old ways of playing with pressure no longer worked. It was embarrassing since I’m a trumpet teacher! Your book and lessons have helped me so much. I just had to go about playing in a different way…a better way. I am now able to play professionally again. Yesterday was my first gig in over 2 years. It was a victory for me. Thanks Keith!